


Lipstick Lies

by kgbucky (JuliaJMD)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Captasha - Freeform, F/M, blackshield, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 16:32:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2198964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaJMD/pseuds/kgbucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"A kiss is the result of having found each other." - Anonymous</p><p> Natasha and Steve start to make out casually, she is teaching him how people kiss in the 21st century. It started with a kiss, how did it end up like this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Favor Between Friends

“ _I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them.” \- Mae West_

**~X~**

They had just gotten back from a mission in Kansas and Natasha was sitting in her living room reading a book and having a nice cup of hot chocolate. Her program for the evening was that, doing nothing, just relaxing after a stressful mission. She was opening her copy of 'The Karamazov Brothers' when her phone beeped, Steve's ringtone. He had just sent her a text.

_'Im dropping by.'_ That wasn't a question, he wasn't asking for approval, he was affirming, he was dropping by her place. He didn't usually do that. Natasha and Steve were often hanging out at each other's place. Sometimes, he dropped by her apartment to grab some pizza, other times she dropped by his to watch a movie and, rarely, they went out to eat burgers. 

Natasha broke into his apartment very often, so it wasn't a surprise to Steve anymore when he entered his living room and found Natasha sitting on the couch watching TV and eating chips, he wasn't bothered anymore when Natasha was always teased him because of the few people he had kissed his entire life. She knew each and every single one of his neighbors. She was aware that the woman who lived next door, Sharon was a S.H.I.E.L.D agent and she was aware of Sharon's jealousy when she saw Natasha coming out of Steve's apartment. There was no reason for that though. Natasha and Steve were just buddies. Very good buddies.

_'Im waiting for you'_ She replied to the message with a smile. Since her apartment was always methodically clean and organized, Natasha didn't even have to bother organizing her stuff as Steve usually had when she got into his apartment through the window. She continued seated on the same armchair she was before reading a copy of 'The Karamazov Brothers' in Russian, it was her favorite book. When she heard an unsure knock on the door, she closed her book and placed it on the small table by her side and stood walking towards the door.

“Hey, Nat.” Steve smiled awkwardly as she stepped aside allowing him in.

“'sup, Cap?” She replied following him inside.

“So...” He started running a hand through his hair nervously.

“So...” She echoed laughing.

“Nat... I was wondering if you could teach me how to kiss.” His voice was so low that she found it almost impossible to hear what he'd said.

“What?” She asked stepping closer to him.

“Coulyouteachmehowtokiss?” he said very quickly, but Natasha understood just what he said and laughed.

“Did I understand your request correctly? You want me to teach you how to kiss?” She smiled.

“Well... Yes, I do.” Steve said reluctantly, “But if you don't want to, it's okay.”

“No! I'm completely okay with this. But, can I just ask you why are you asking me this?”

“I want to take my neighbor on a date and I want to kiss her the right way, y'know?”

“Oh, Sharon...” She muttered and then replied, “Of course... Now, how do you want to do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, okay, then I'll have to make the first move.” She muttered to herself and approached him.

Natasha placed one of her hands on the back of his neck pulling his face closer to hers and stood on her tiptoes. She waited until her face was close enough to his and kissed him. At first, their lips lightly touched and then he pressed his lips against hers more in a more urging way before breaking it. His face was of a dark red color.

“How did I do?” He asked expectantly.

“Steve, you might have kissed me once like that, but that's not how people make out in the 21st century.” Natasha told him patiently.

“Then teach me how people make out in the 21st century!” He exclaimed, clearly embarrassed by the words he'd just said.

“Okay.” She sighed thinking of an easier way to teach him how to do that. “Take a seat.” She motioned for him to seat on her armchair. Steve did as she was told and, when he seemed comfortable, she sat on his lap, her legs hanging from the armrest. He gasped in surprise.

“It's going to be easier this way, Steve.” She told him. “Now, when I touch your lips with my tongue you need to part them slightly so I can enter your mouth, got it?”

“Yes.” He nodded. And, once more, Natasha leaned in for the kiss. She placed one of her hands on the back of his neck and gripped his hair lightly. She could feel his heart beating faster, all his muscles were tense, he needed to relax so they could do that. Again, she broke the kiss. She noticed how tightly he gripped the armrest.

“Steve, you need to relax.” She told him placing one of her hands on his cheek. “When I take hold of your hair, you can do the same, you can tug on it lightly. _Lightly._ ” She told him and kissed him again. It was no good, he was still nervous.

“Sorry, Nat. I think I can't do this.” He said running a hand through his hair nervously.

“Oh yes you can.” Natasha said and stood, “Look, Steve. A kiss is one of the best things in the life of anyone. You have to enjoy the situation, if you're nervous, you won't be able to kiss the right way and it's not going to be good.”

He nodded, “Now, Captain Rogers, are you going to do this the right way?”

“Yes, ma'am.” He told her and Natasha sat on his lap again.

“You can take hold of my hair... this way.” She said and took his hand in hers and placed it on her hair. Since she had just gotten back from a mission and didn't have time to straighten her hair, it was curly. “And you can tug on it lightly.”

Then, after telling him that, she kissed him again. That time, he was fairly more relaxed. He did as he was told, tugging lightly on her hair and parting his lips slightly when she touched them with her tongue. Her hand, once more, took hold of his hair pulling it lightly as the kiss got more and more heated. He wasn't the best kisser, but he wasn't a bad one either. Then she broke the kiss. She needed air. Steve's face was flushed and his hair messy. He took his hand away from her hair and looked at her.

“How did I do?” He asked.

“You did well. How do you like kissing, Steve?” She asked him smiling.

“It's... a good sensation.” He replied shrugging and Natasha noticed how his eyes were of a darker color and how his pupils were dilated. Steve Rogers was aroused and she was sitting on his lap.

“Well, we still have a lot of things to work on before you ask Sharon out. But that's all for tonight.” Natasha said and stood. “In any other situation, I would offer you some food, but, since we just came back from a mission, I don't have any here.”

“Don't worry about it, Nat.” He told her and stood, “I have to go anyway. Can we do it again tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Natasha smiled at him, “My place or yours?”  
“Mine.” He said, “What time?”

“After work?” She suggested.

“Okay.” He nodded and left the place.

When he closed the door behind him, she locked it and went back to her arm chair. She opened her book on the page she had stopped and took a sip of her hot chocolate. What was she doing with her life?

 


	2. Thirsty for more

“ _Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases.” - Chinese Proverb_

**~X~**

That evening, after work, Natasha and Steve went out to grab some Chinese food. He and Natasha were in the same situation when it came to food, they had none in their apartments. So, she figured he called her more as a retribution to the favor he had asked her, the one she had accepted without even considering the risks first. Still, what had she to fear? Kissing... It was nothing she hadn't done before.

The restaurant was one near Steve's place, just around the corner. It was easier for them to go right back after they finished eating. They sat at an isolated table. Because it was still early, the restaurant was almost empty. Natasha was okay with their situation, but Steve didn't seem like he was. In fac, he'd spent the entire day without saying a single word towards her, avoiding Natasha. She had a clue on why he was doing that but didn't dare asking. She was afraid that, if she did, he would stop talking to her forever.

“Steve.” She said his name, she made him look up from the menu, but his eyes lingered on hers for a few seconds before he looked back to the table, avoiding her gaze.

“Natasha.” It was his reply, he didn't exactly know what to say to her.

“So, Steve.... Is everything okay? You haven't spoken to me since yesterday.”

“Yeah, everything's just fine.” His voice was weak and shy and his face turned of a bright red color.

Natasha smiled at him and placed her hand on top of his. He tensed under her touch, but didn't move his hand away. “Can I ask you something, Steve?”

“Sure.” He nodded, his gaze meeting hers once more.

“Are you a virgin?”

“Me?!” He gasped.

“Yeah, you.” She said, her tone was still serious though she was laughing inside. Natasha already knew the answer to that question. Of course he was a virgin.

“Of course not!” He blurted and turned as red as her hair. He started playing with his hands nervously. “'Mkay, I might be... Yeah, I'm a virgin.”

Natasha busted out in laughter. “You? Captain America. You are a great specimen of man, gentle, kind, everything a woman could ever wish for and still y _ou_ are a virgin?” There was a look of disbelief on her face and her tone matched it. She didn't know where those words came from, but Natasha knew she was being honest. Steve, he wasn't a man to go around sleeping with every girl he met like Stark, but still she expected him to have gotten laid at least once.

“Thanks, Nat.” He muttered, but kept his eyes low. His hands were placed on the table in front of him. “I just haven't found the right woman yet.”

Natasha placed her hand softly on top of his in a reassuring gesture. He made no attempts to move his hand away and she noticed how he relaxed visibly. Natasha had lost her virginity when she was very young. She didn't quite remember her first time, she was probably twelve when it happened. Of course she couldn't tell Steve that, it would be weird and he would pity her. Natasha hated to be pitied. “Sorry for laughing, I didn't quite know how to react.” She told him.

“Don't worry.” He nodded and took a deep breath before changing the subject, “Have you chosen what you're going to eat?”

“Yup.” She nodded and took a second look at the menu on her hand. Since she didn't want something heavy on her stomach because of the activities she had planned on doing with him, she chose a salad, “I'm having a salad, I'm not very hungry.” They called the waiter and ordered the food.

While they waited, there was an awkward silence between them, only broken by the sound of the bottom of a glass hitting the wooden surface of the table. Silence... That was something new between them, Steve and Natasha always seemed to have something to talk about, whether they were discussing about a mission or talking about the news or a movie one of them watched. They were never out of words as they were now.

“Well, this is awkward.” Natasha muttered more to herself than to Steve.

“Yes, it is.” He smiled at her.

“Well, since you can't seem to find any subject for us to talk about, I'm going to continue with the lessons.” She stated and shifted on her chair searching for a more comfortable position on the chair. “Nothing physical, of course. Just something I was thinking about yesterday.”

“Oh okay.” He nodded and doubled his attention to her.

“Well, there isn't a right way to kiss someone. There are dozens of different types of kisses, but A kiss... A kiss is the very portrait of the soul of a person. Each kiss is unique. Just like the person who is kissing.” She told him after a short while in silence. The she added a bit unsure if she should say that. “You know, ancient lovers believed a kiss would literally unite their souls, because the spirit was said to be carried in one's breath.”

“That's... Beautiful, Natasha.” He muttered thoughtfully, his eyes met hers once more and Natasha swore there was a spark in them somewhere, something that told her he wanted to be more than just friends with her, but, before she was able to give it much thought, the food arrived.

They ate in silence, just enjoying the flavor of the food and each other's company. It wasn't the best Chinese food she ever ate – well, she was finding it hard to like the flavor of any Chinese food she ate in the U.S after she had gotten back from a mission in China. When they were done eating, they got their Fortune cookies. Natasha never gave much thought on the messages that came inside the the cookie, but she liked reading them.

She cracked the cookie open and ate it before reading the words printed on the small piece of paper:  _ 'Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases.'  _ Natasha blinked and read it again to make sure her eyes were not fooling her. She felt the faintest of blushes creep to her cheeks.

“What did you get?” Steve asked with a smile, “Mine is : _'A diamond with imperfections is worthy more than a pebble without imperfections.'_

“I got: _'Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve.'”_ She lied and smiled at him.

Steve insisted on paying the bill and, once more she found it hard to believe that he was a virgin. Then they left to his apartment.

**~X~**

Natasha was able to feel Sharon's hostile gaze on her as she and Steve made their way towards his apartment. Sharon didn't actually know, but now she had a real reason not to like Natasha. Still, it wasn't like she was stealing her boyfriend. She was just training him. Steve opened the door for her and she entered the apartment.

“I just need to use the bathroom before we start.” She told him and went to the bathroom, she didn't even need an invitation to go inside and start messing with his stuff. Natasha brushed her teeth and, when she got back to the living room, Steve was sitting on his couch staring out of the window.

“So, are you ready?” She asked running a hand through her hair to put a few loose strands back in place as she made her way towards him.

“Yup.” He nodded. “Are we doing this the same way as we did yesterday?”

“Nope. Since you've learned the basics, today you're going to learn how to kiss while standing.”

“Okay.” He stood.

“Since it's hard to find someone who's taller than you are – only Bruce when he's hulked out – You're going to learn how to kiss while you're standing.” Natasha stood on her tiptoes measuring the distance from her mouth to his. She wore her high heel boots and was on her tiptoes and still, he was taller than her. That was sorta frustrating. “You'll have to lean in.”

Steve did as he was told and they kissed. If she didn't know him better, Natasha would actually believe that he had been practicing in her absence. He was kissing slightly better than the day before, now, his tongue moved in synchrony with hers, but there was something missing. Natasha was still in control of the kiss, she didn't mind it, but Sharon... She didn't know if that woman was more submissive. She allowed herself to kiss him for a little longer, an act of pure selfishness, before she broke the kiss.

“Wow.” She muttered breathlessly to herself and then, noticing the awkward silence between them, added, “Have you been practicing?”

“Nope. Why?” Steve asked confused.

“Nothing. I was just wondering.”

“Oh.” He said. She could see his cheeks burning and he ran a hand through his hair nervous. He had been doing that a lot lately.

“Well, you are a good kisser, Steve. There's nothing else can do about that. Your french kiss is perfect. Now, let's try something new.” Natasha suggested, “Kiss me again. This time, pull me closer by my waist.”

He did as he was told and their lips were locked again. The feeling of his strong arms around her waist as he pulled her closer was extremely erotic. While his kiss was instinctual, hers was extremely manic and performed with perfection. She kissed him with all her will, she gave herself completely to him, kissing him with all the experience she had acquired throughout the years. She threaded her fingers through his hair softly and realized she needed breath. Slowly and not really wanting to do so, she broke the kiss, biting his lower lip softly.

Just like the other day, his eyes were of a darker color and his pupils were dilated. The desire he felt was almost palpable. His breathing was heavy and his hair was messy. He looked even better like that, as if all his innocence was gone. He was thirsty for more. _'Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases.'_ Those words swam through her head as she stared into his eyes, her breathing was still uneven, just like his and, for a second, she actually thought he was going to make a bolder move towards her, but she discarded the idea.

“I think we're done for the night.” Natasha told him and walked away from Steve towards the door, “Tomorrow, at the same time, meet me at my apartment.”

Steve even offered her a ride, but she refused and she noticed how he looked almost sad to see her go, but she didn't really care – or did she? - He was just a friend after all. As she expected, Sharon was out in the corridor when she left the apartment and was looking at her as if she was from outer space, someone insane and Natasha figured that she had overheard something between them... Oh yes! Her red lipstick! When she was downstairs, making her way outside, she was reminded of that detail. She touched her face and saw light stains of red on her hand. She chuckled and continued making her way down the street. That was almost too good to be real.

Before going home, she stopped by the supermarket and bought food. She wanted to have something to offer him when he went to her place the next day.

 


	3. More to be Desired

_Her kisses left something to be desired... the rest of her' – Author Unknown._

**~X~**

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon. Natasha had nothing to do and had nothing planned for the day except for Steve's visit. She had bought food for them to eat and decided to prepare a meal, but not until four p.m. The rest of the afternoon, she spent wandering through Washington, it was, indeed a beautiful city. The architecture was wonderful, she enjoyed sitting in front of the capitol and watch the families, the ones she would never have and never had. She didn't know why, but it made her happy to see the children happy. Somehow, that day, she seemed unable to stop thinking of Steve's eyes and his kisses. She had been daydreaming a lot about them.

He was very good at kissing, but they were still working on his more dominant side. She had figured that Sharon was a more submissive woman – and that she was trying to seduce Clint – so they still had a lot of work to do when it came to that. Natasha was enjoying the feeling of his hands wrapped tightly around her waist and the way his fingers threaded on her hair far more than she should be.

She was back at home just in time to prepare dinner. Natasha's cooking skills weren't the best, so she burnt the food a couple of times before giving up and making them sandwiches. Well, she was better with drinks than she was with food, so it wasn't a problem for her. If he wanted any drink, she knew how to make it. Then she felt her phone vibrate in the back pocket of her pants.

 _'R u doin anything tonight?'_ It was Clint.

 _'Nope, Im staying home'_ she texted back.

 _'Wanna do something?'_ She didn't. She was meeting Steve, she didn't have time for Clint that night.

 _'No, sorry. Im watching a movie here.'_ She typed and left her phone on the table as she went to have a bath and wait for Steve. She was ready just in time to open the door for him.

“Night, cap'n.” Natasha greeted him with a smile as he entered her place.

“Nigh, Tasha.” He replied. Steve seemed to become more relaxed in her presence each time.

“So... You are almost ready to ask Sharon out. There's only one thing I plan on working with you before that. And I plan on doing that tonight.” She told him.

“And what might that be?” He inquired as he sat on the couch. Natasha did the same, sitting very close to him. Even more than she should have.

“Your domineering side.” She replied and he blushed. “Well, all these days I've been leading the kiss and stuff, but Sharon's not going to do that, so I'll have to teach you that as well.”

“Okay.” He nodded.

“Now, you'll make the first move in whatever way you want. It can be by...” She had no time to end the sentence when he pulled her even closer by the waist and kissed her. Natasha was surprised, but kissed him back with her eyes closed. His hands moved to grasp her hair and she wrapped her arms around her neck. Sometimes, he bit her lip softly and she had to control herself not to let out a soft moan. She took hold of his hair too and tugged on it lightly, just as she did other times. Sometimes, Steve groaned in pleasure and she smiled in the kiss. That moment, it was just him and her, the rest of the world seemed to disappear. The sound of the neighbors doing their normal routine seemed much lower then, she wanted to stay like that forever. Then they broke it.

Natasha didn't really know what to say, so she simply stared at him. His breathing was uneven and his face was flushed. She imagined she looked just the same way. She ran a hand through her hair and said, “You're good at this. Now, let's do this standing.”

Steve nodded, he seemed drunk by her kiss, just as many other men before him looked when she finished kissing them. She had one secret, she left something more to be desired when kissing and the men never forgot her. Not ever. Both stood and walked to the middle of the living room. They were close once more and Steve used a different approach. He was sweeter that time.

“Kiss me.” He said softly. His voice was soft but his words demanding. His face was close, she could feel his hot breathing on her lips, her eyes were locked with his, then, she took his hair on her hands and pulled him closer. Their lips met again.

Instantly, he wrapped his arms around her waist. That moment, Natasha found out that they were meant for each other, they completed each other perfectly. She should have never told him to go out with Sharon. She should've taken him on a date herself. Well, now there was nothing she could do, so she simply enjoyed the last few moments of the kiss that were interrupted by a voice. Clint's voice..

“Nat?!” He gasped, “What the hell?!”

“Oh...” There was nothing she could say about that situation.

“And _Steve_?”

“Hey, Barton.” Steve said.

“Nat! What's the meaning of this? Cap has a fucking _boner!_ ” Clint shouted making Steve blush deeply.

“Hey, guys, let's all calm down.” Natasha said and both of them became quiet and looked at her, “First of all, it's not like I haven't seen a boner before in my life and you two know it very well, especially you, Clinton. Secondly, you don't know anything of what's happening here, if you want me to explain, please sit down, it's a bit of a long story.”

“Okay.” Clint took a seat and Natasha told him the entire story.

“See, there's nothing going on between me and Cap.”

“Got it. Now, I'm going.” He stood and left the place. Steve was still red.

“Now, where were we?” she asked standing again. Steve did the same and the animal inside him seemed to take over again. He attacked her lips and tasted them voraciously. He was almost possessive towards her. The way he was kissing her, it was too much. She moaned in his mouth. She could feel the sound that left her mouth reverberate through his whole body. That seemed to trigger something more, for he pressed her against the nearest wall and attacked her neck.

“Steve...” She moaned involuntarily enjoying the feeling of his lips against her neck. “Steve, stop this.”

He obeyed immediately, though she could see in his eyes that he wanted more, that he wanted all of her.

“We'll do that when you ask Sharon out for the third date. Then we can get a bit more physical.” She told him. “You're ready, big boy.” She laughed, “Now go back to your place and ask her out.”

“Okay.” He nodded smiling brightly.

When he left, Natasha got a beer and sat in front of the TV. She didn't know why, but she felt empty inside. She was starting to realize that she not only desired Steve, but she needed him.


	4. The Third Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is smut in this chapter. I know people don't want to Steve to date Sharon, but he has to do that in order to realize that it is Nat that he loves and not that blond woman (ugh how I hate her). Besides, I love writing angst, so... Enjoy :3

“ _'Twas not my lips you kissed, but my soul” - Judy Garland_

**~X~**

The past few days, Steve seemed very excited. He was more cheerful and told her all the time it was because of her tips on kissing. While his life seemed perfect, hers was a complete disaster, she seemed to be crumbling under her feelings and losing everything she had, including her sanity. Clint wasn't talking to her more than the strictly necessary, he had even asked Fury to change partners, unfortunately, with S.H.I.E.L.D being inactive because of the past events, there was no one else he could be paired up with if not Natasha or Steve. Natasha both regretted and rejoiced for having accepted Steve's request of teaching him how to make out without thinking about the consequences first – Still, how was she to know that just a kiss would awaken the side of her she considered to have died a long time ago, her heart. She was happy for him, because there was nothing that brought her more self-satisfaction than to see him smile like that, to see his beautiful blue eyes lighten up when he spoke about Sharon. Even if she wanted him to be speaking of her, she knew that, indirectly, she was the cause for that smile.

Natasha had no idea of when that happened, she simply caught herself feeling different when she was around Steve, the same way she felt when she was near the men she had once loved and that was when she realized she loved him, that during the past few weeks, her only reason to get out of bed each morning was Steve, that her happiness was to see him happy. Natasha was in love. She was in love with a man that didn't belong to her, a man who deserved more than she could ever give him, a man who deserved a family and safety and that was something she couldn't provide.

“Hey, Nat!” Steve said when she picked up the phone. She was secretly glad to hear his voice, she tried to hold back a smile, but she wasn't able to do that.

“Whassup, Steve?” She replied trying to sound indifferent.

“Guess what?!” He told her, he seemed really excited about something, but, at the same time, as nervous as he could be. “Tomorrow night is the third date!”

“That's great!” All the excitement in Natasha's voice was faked, his words were like a knife buried deep in her back. Why she was feeling like that? She didn't know, at least, she would get to sleep with him, right? “Why don't you come over tonight so I can finish the lessons.”

“Sure!” He seemed so excited that it almost made her break down, but she refused to do so just as many other times in her life.

**~X~**

Natasha spent the rest of the day almost as excited as he was. She was looking forward to tasting his lips and, perhaps, doing something more that night. Every footstep she heard on the corridor outside her apartment was enough to make her heart beat faster in anticipation and make her head turn, but, as soon as she realized they weren't Steve's, she felt a wave of disappointment wash over her, she was trying to rush the hours just to see him step inside her apartment and greet her with that smile of his. When she finally heard the doorbell ring she jumped from her armchair to open the door. Steve was there, just as she expected. He had a smile spread on his face as she invited him in.

“So...” He muttered nervous as the first time he was there. Well, it was the first time he was there for that kind of thing.

“So...” She laughed as she looked at him, “Well, tell me a bit more about how it went with Sharon. Besides what we're practicing tonight, do you want to try anything else you are not feeling confident about?”

“Nope.” Was his reply. “Well, me and Sharon, we're doing just fine. She seems to be very happy with me and I'm very happy with her. I just... I just don't want to mess up in the third date. I know how important this is for her and it is for me too.”

“Right...” Natasha nodded thinking of his words, “Then we should get started with this. I'm not going to teach you like I did with the kisses. You'll start by kissing me and we'll see where we get from there. Any mistakes you make I'll correct them during the act.” She told him and, in no time, he had kissed her. Just as many other times, she tasted his sweet lips, just that, that time, she used all the tricks she had, every single one to get him aroused even faster. And it worked.

Soon, his lips were attacking her neck, tasting the her sweet skin, nipping on the white skin and leaving small red marks, as if he was claiming her. The thought of that, of him wanting her and no one else was enough to make her moan and she decided that she wouldn't let anything get in the way that moment. It was just her and Steve. As his hands moved under her shirt, she nipped gently on his earlobe and he own hands found their way to his bare back underneath the shirt he wore. She scratched his back with her nails leaving lond red trails and making him groan in pleasure. Natasha had managed to make him drunk just by kissing him again. He was like a drug, she knew it was wrong to be doing that, she knew that he didn't need anymore help to do what he was going to do, but still she insisted on tasting his lips, on making him believe that he wasn't ready yet and it wasn't because she was evil, but because she refused to imagine a life without his avid kisses, without his soft touch.

She helped him take off her own shirt and started to unbutton his own. Soon, their clothes were on the floor. They searched around the living room for a flat surface, any surface that would serve as a support for their bodies. Finding none, she led him to the bedroom, where he pressed her body gently against the soft mattress and placed himself on top of her. He kissed her neck once more, but, that time, he didn't stop at the neck, he went further down until he reached the sensitive spot between her inner thighs. His hands spread them apart, his movements managed to be gentle, but rough at the same time, his touch sent shivers down her spine and she couldn't hold back a moan when she felt his thumb on her clit and two of his fingers entering her slit. She gripped the bed clothing tightly, where had he learned that?

His fingers moved with expertise and, even though his touch sent ecstatic waves through her body that made all her muscles contract and relax at the same time and made her thoughts blurry, she didn't moan as loudly as he did when he used his tongue too. Natasha moved her grip from the sheets to his hair to guide him. She could feel herself close, but, just as she was reaching her climax, he stopped. He looked at her with eager eyes, filled with lust desire and another emotion she couldn't quite identify. He kissed her deeply and she could taste herself on his lips, then he entered her. She moaned even louder – if that was possible – and raised her hips to meet his. They moved in perfect synchrony. It wasn't only his size that allowed him to go in even deeper inside her, but also his technique. Somehow, he managed to hit the spot inside her that made her dig her nails even deeper on his back.

“Fuck, Natasha.” He whispered on her ear, his hot breathing tickled her neck, his voice was throaty.

Her orgasm started to build and she worked even harder to match his movements, to make him go deeper inside her. Natasha needed that. She had been waiting for that for so long. She couldn't even remember the last time she had actually reached her release in bed. Some people were just born with the talent of pleasing themselves and the others around them and Natasha was sure of that when her walls clenched around Steve and she came. For a few minutes, his movements sped up before slowly getting more and more erratic until he came.

His breathing was uneven just like hers as they laid on the bed side by side, she turned to face him, his eyes were still dark. He wanted more. Though his expression said it all, he insisted on replying.

“Oh, I like it very much.” He said before climbing on top of her again, “I could do this all night.”

Steve had a seemingly endless stamina, just like hers and, when they were finally done, he left. He couldn't spend the night at her place. It would be too suspicious. Natasha watched him sadly as he left, knowing that, if everything went well on his date, he would no longer have time for her.

That night, she was so tired, she had no problem in sleeping. She didn't have nightmares, in fact, she didn't dream about anything. The next morning, she woke up and, as a machine, as she was used to do every single day, she followed the routine and went to work. That would be the last time she would talk to Steve as she did before.


	5. Realization

_'Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?' - Henry Finck_

**~X~**

“ _I just haven't found the right woman yet.”_ Natasha found herself remembering those words over and over. It was the night Steve was going on the third date and she found herself unable to sleep. Jealousy... It was taking over her, it was as if she had lost her ability of thinking rationally.

Natasha remembered the feeling of his touch all over her body, marveling at how he had so much strength on his hands yet managed to be delicate at the same time. It had only been one night and she missed his presence already. He had not stayed over, but she missed his warmth on her bed, the feeling of his body pressing against hers as he moved his hips. Her fingers slowly moved to her inner thighs exploring the area before she put two of them inside her.

“Steve.” She moaned shamelessly as her hips moved on their own just as her fingers. The only thing she could picture in her mind was him. He was the only man that she couldn't have. She was almost reaching her climax when her phone rang. She was seriously considering not picking up but then she recognized Steve's ringtone.

“Hey.” His voice sounded weary but happy, just as she expected.

“Hi, Steve.” She replied trying not to show the disappointment in her voice, she didn't want him to be as happy as he was because of Sharon.

“Yup. Um... I'm sorry for calling this late, but um... can I drop by?” He inquired. How could she say no to such request. Especially one coming from him.

“No, sorry, I have some friends over.” She lied.

“Nat, please, I have to talk to you.” he begged and she almost gave in.

“No, Steve. I'm sorry, but you can't. I haven't seen them in a long while and it's a sort of reunion tonight.” She told him. Well, it wasn't completely a lie, that night, she would remember the taste of Vodka, a drink she hadn't had in a very long while.

“Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow.” He hung up.

Natasha practically smashed her phone against the bedside table. She sat on the bed and a wave of rage washed over her, how dare he ask her if he could drop by after having sex with Sharon? Why would he do that to her. Natasha didn't want to hear what he had to say about it, about how good it was and how she had praised him. She didn't want to see him smile if she wasn't the reason for that smile. It was selfish, yes. How had she fallen for him? She could have any man she wanted, but she had to choose the one that didn't belong to her.

She felt tears gather in the corner of her eyes and, as if to justify them, she went to the kitchen and got herself a bottle of cold vodka. The feeling of the cold liquid that burnt its way down her throat made her squint her eyes and more tears gathered. Soon, when she had drowned half the bottle, the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She shouldn't be feeling like that. She was the Black Widow, she had no feelings, she _couldn't_ have them. They always got in the way of everything. That night, Natasha didn't sleep, but she drowned in alcohol as if that would make the pain go away. She knew it wouldn't. She couldn't get drunk, not even if she wanted to.

**~X~**

The next morning, she almost didn't go to work, she didn't want to see Steve. Well, she wouldn't have to if she had an excuse not to. Like... Hanging out with Clint. So she called the archer. That was something she had been planning on doing in a long while. Natasha needed to talk to him, to make things right again between the two of them.

“Hey, Tash.” He said, his voice lacked the excitement that she heard coming from him several other times when she called.

“Hey, Clint.” She replied a bit reluctant, what should she tell him? “I was wondering... Would you like to go out today and... y'know, make things right again.”

“Sure. After work?” He replied, some of the happiness returned to his voice and she figured he must have missed her just as much as she was missing him.

“Yup.” She nodded. Words had never been needed between the two of them, few words, a glimpse, a gesture, was enough to make them understand what they needed, what they wanted and what they felt. Still, while Natasha was able to read Clint like a book, he had a little more trouble doing the same thing to her. Everyone had.

During the day, Steve tried to find an opportunity to talk to her, but she always had something to do, whether it was taking the trash out or analyzing files for their next mission, everything seemed more important than him.

And so the days went by. She managed to make things right with Clint once more, but her mood towards Steve oscillated between being angry towards him and trying to make it look like she didn't have time for him. He hadn't even ad time to tell her about his date with Sharon and she noticed that, when he spoke to her about his relationship, he lacked excitement and the spark ever so present on his eyes was a much less brighter. He wasn't 100% happy with Sharon. And she wanted to tell him that he would be much happier with her than she was with him. Sometimes, he asked her if he could come over, but she always found an excuse for him not to do so.

**~X~**

“Nat, open the door.” She heard a knock followed by Steve's voice. It sounded urgent and she thought it was better for her to do as he told her.

“Okay, I'm coming.” She walked to the door and unlocked it. He entered her apartment.

“Nat, I need to talk to you.”

“Feel free do so. Have a seat.” She motioned to the couch and he sat. She sat by his side, being careful enough to leave space between them.

“Nat... I... I broke up with Sharon.”It took him a while to say that.

“Oh.” She mouthed seeming shocked. She tried to sound sad but she was truly happy because of that. “But why? You seemed to be doing so well.”

“I know, but... After that night with you. My feelings changed. I was so sure I wanted to be with Sharon but then I wasn't as sure as I was before. And these past few weeks made me realize that the person I really want to be with is you.” He told her, “The way your lips taste, the way you feel... It's perfect, like we were made for one another, but, what made me make this decision is the way I feel when I'm with you. You make me feel as I've never did before. Natasha, I... love you.”

Her eyes widened. She scanned his face looking for something that told her that he was lying, but she found none. Natasha felt her hear beat faster as the words she longed to hear left his lips. She wished she had something as beautiful as the ones he had just proffered. She looked down as a faint blush took over her cheeks. “Steve... I... I love you too.” Her words were almost a whisper, but the way he smiled when he heard those words made her mirror his movements.

He moved a bit closer to her and cupped her cheek with one of his hands before leaning in and kissing her softly. Natasha, she was his and Steve, he was hers. That was a silent agreement between the two of them sealed that night.

As she laid in bed with him, she couldn't help but fall asleep. That night, she dreamed, only that she didn't have the usual nightmares, she felt safe by his side, she loved to feel his warmth, to hear his soft breathing and feel the steady rise and fall of his bare chest as she rested her head against it. And everything was perfect for the first time in her life.


End file.
